Are you still disgusted?
by Rien's Sunset
Summary: Lemon! [Kratos x Zelos] Zelos comments on Kratos' lonely tennancies, only to discover that perhaps it takes a lonely person to know one.


"You're always alone out here," I commented, addressing Kratos - who was standing to my direct left - although I was looking straight ahead. He was standing with his back against a tree, and I could feel him watching me as I crossed the small yard in front of the inn the group was staying at.

"It seems that if I were not here, you would be just as alone." I looked over my shoulder at the blood red-haired man's remark and placed my hands behind my head. For the first time in my life, I think, I chose not to honor him with a reply. Rather, I finished my small walk and ended up settling on an old tree stump for my seat. After a couple of minutes I grew bored of the silence and, knowing there would be no cheery start-up of a conversation from Mr. Tall Dark and Handsome, I closed my eyes and chose to ask a question.

"Why are you out here? Shouldn't you be practicing protecting Colette or something?" I opened one eye to see if his expression had changed - it hadn't.

"Why are _you_ out here? Shouldn't you be fucking some busty bartender or something?" On any other occasion, I would have taken the remark kindly and laughed it off, with a response along the lines of, _Why thank you, I'm actually just off to do that now. _But tonight, there was definately a good reason I was not ripping some girl's panties off and fucking her until she begged for more and for me to stop at the same time.

No, tonight was not the right time to be calling Zelos a slut.

I felt my hands pull into fists beyond my will and my untrimmed nails pushed deep into my flesh without actually breaking the skin. I hated the feeling but no matter how much I wanted my fists to come undone they wouldn't. It was the urge to punch something, to rip something to shreds with my bare hands. I hadn't felt that way in ages but here it was all the same, and Kratos was only serving to further my agony.

"Is everything alright?" Kratos mock-concern was so obvious that it made me seethe and eventually punch straight downwards into the tree stump. It felt good, like a sudden release. A feeling of absolute ecstasy. Not that I would ever show that to Kratos, but inside my body was writhing with the sensation of pain - the wish to strike something else.

"Go the fuck away." I barely managed to squeeze the words past my gritted teeth, though thanks to the tremedous effort it took to speak my hands were loose again. I decided to run my fingers through my hair, which turned out to be a bad choice because for some God forsaken reason several strands had become knotted and my fingers stuck.

"Did you forget to brush your hair today, Chosen?" He was not even looking at me anymore, which was even worse than insulting me plainly. It was like I was not even worth looking at. Instead he was focusing intently on the top window of the inn where I'm pretty sure Colette was, and also on unclasping his cloak. That I could at least understand - it was a thousand degrees out here and even in just my own sleeveless top, I was already feeling the sweat forming around my hairline. Once his cloak was off I noticed just how elaborate the shirt underneath was; however, I could care less about what he was wearing right now... whatever it was, I wanted to see it covered in blood.

Shocked by my own thoughts, I clenched my eyes shut tight in an attempt to clear my head. Violent urges mixed with just the right amount of provokation never ended well, but how was I supposed to tell that to Kratos?

"You really can't handle anything, can you?" The voice was coming from directly above me now, and I looked up sharply to see that the mercenary was standing right in front of me. I fought the urge to punch him then and stood up, leaving barely an inch of space between us.

"You really don't understand when I tell you to go away, do you?" My words only sparked a coy grin to play on his lips and I bit my own lip to keep from lashing out.

"I believe I was here before you, so I believe you should be the one to leave."

There it was. My out. I could get away and sit by myself, calm down without doing any kind of damage to anyone or anything. I took a deep breath and let my own smile shine through my hate.

"Alrighty then. See you around." I waved cheerfully and being careful not to trip on the tree stump, I backed away from him and finally turned my back to walk out of the yard.

Not three steps further but a hand caught my shoulder.

I lost it.

There was no hesitation in my actions, no sentiment holding me back from striking. I dug one heel into the ground for balance and turned sharply on it, winding up my punch as I spun. It was aimed directly for his face - he was so close, there was no way I could miss him from where I stood. And yet, I no sooner thought this than I felt my hand wrapped in something warm, yet not soft, something like a coarse fabric. I looked and saw that Kratos had caught my hand with no problem in his own. In my shock I did not realize that he would have no reservations about hitting me as soon as he had been attacked; in fact, I assume he had been waiting for me to make the first move so he would be able to justify his actions. The time it took me to register this gave him ample time to realize that I was so distracted that he could easily get me now - and he did. A single fist covered in thin material collided with my lower jaw and not only was I not expecting it but his precision was to be admired.

My left shoulder, hip and knee hit hard dirt and I knew that bruises would swell in the places of contact in minutes, making it harder for me to fight. Not that something that trivial would stop me at this point.

Even though it was a bit staggered, I got to my feet fairly quickly and was back in the heat of the moment. Neither of us had weapons of any kind, let alone our swords, so I figured my odds were pretty good. With minimal effort I threw a quick spinning hook kick in the direction of his temple, but he dodged it just as easily. Frustrated, I threw a series of punches in which only the last connected, hitting him square in the cheek. Not exactly where I had been aiming for, but it was a start. Besides, I was only warming up. He recovered much faster than I had, given that I hadn't knocked him to the ground, and retaliated with vigor, no longer on the defense. In moments I found myself on the ground again.

"I really _don't _admire your persistance," Kratos voice came from above me yet again, his tall figure blocking the sun from view. I grunted and got on my hands and knees, but this only provoked him to kick me in the stomach. This time, my face hit and I inhaled a mouthful of dirt. Sputtering, I tried again and was kicked in the side. I ached all over, I knew my body was covered in bruises and cuts, I barely had the will to stand again. And for the moment, there was no way I could, for Kratos had decided to place a foot on top of my chest. My supply of air fell short and I gasped,

"Stop it," The look on his face from seeing me in such pain was barely readable, but I was sure there was an element of pleasure in seeing me struggle. Almost disgusted, I closed my eyes again and wrapped my hands around his ankle, trying to wreck his balance so he'd have to get off me. Unfortunately, I had none of the proper leverage and he was much stronger than I was.

"Pathetic Chosen. How did you even get into this party?" He shifted his foot from my solarplexus to my neck, which was no more comfortable, for now I could inhale but the air could barely get past my windpipe.

"Well, who let _you_ in?" My reply was raspy and I wasn't sure how much sense it made, but then again, I was seeing stars from lack of oxygen.

"I was hired, no one let me in. I'm paid to be here, and I'm worth a lot more than you'll ever be."

"Then... how come... I'm a... a... Chosen...?"

"The angels clearly made the biggest mistake in the history of existence," Finally, he released the pressure and I sputtered and gasped for air. "Oh, and speaking of existing... you shouldn't."

There was no way in all hell he was going to get away with that one. I never reacted poorly when people called me stupid or vain, but there had been a point in my life where I had been convinced that I shouldn't exist. I thought that the world would have just been better if I had never been born, and reliving that experience was what had brought me outside in the first place.

By the time I had managed to get to my feet I was barely able to catch the sight of Kratos disappearing behind the inn, and my feet carried me after him before I really had a chance to think it through. I mean, he had just beaten the shit out of me, and now I was going to go challenge his words? Wow Zelos, smart move. But it was too late now, I was already practically face to face with him, and my train of thought had disappeared. He rolled his eyes at me.

"You're never happy, are you? You tell me to leave, and when I don't you agree to. You don't, so I beat the hell out of you and you are still chasing me?"

"Shut the fuck up." This was my only reply, since I had nothing else to say. He was right, but I was here now, and though I was sore I wanted to let him know that he was not king of the fucking universe. Being a lonely, selfish mercenary is a lot worse than having friends, right? Then again... I sort of invited myself along on this journey. If I was not here, would anyone notice? If I had not been born, would anyone have missed me?

Again, I had allowed myself to become distracted while facing Kratos and he succeeded in shoving me - as hard as he could - into the wall of the inn. He was just in range of my leg and so I thrust a front kick towards his stomach, hoping my boot would be hard enough to do more damage this time. I had no such luck and he simply sidestepped the kick altogether. With force he grabbed my wrists and pushed them over my head, holding them tight against the wall. It was absolutely excrutiating and whether I wanted it to or not, the pain showed on my face. Catching on at lightspeed, Kratos pushed harder and a small cry tumbled over my lips.

"You're... enjoying this?" I managed to get out before whimpering again.

"Only a bit." He confessed, studying every inch of my face. It made me uncomfortable, but at the same time I watched as his dark eyes darted about, reading my pain like an open book. I decided to take his moment of distraction as an opportunity to free myself, but he noticed quickly and before I was even an inch off the wall he slammed me back. I had to admit, being dominated was a new experience for me. As I usally do all the dominating, this was... oddly attractive. However, it didn't change what he had said, or how much pain I was still in.

"Alright Kratos, you've had your fun now let me go," I said, though the tone was probably not as convincing as it should have been. Not surprisingly, he had caught on.

"I don't think you want to be let go." I rolled my eyes carelessly, now beginning to grow accustomed to the pain he was inflicting. Again, he noticed. Why was he so good at noticing the slightest change in my behavior? I guessed it was because he was trained to, but the thought only teased me as he kneed me roughly in the upper thigh - a little to dangerously close to my crotch. I tried to keel over from the searing white-hot pain coursing through my leg, but he wouldn't let me, keeping me pinned tightly upright. There was no chance of fighting back now: he had my hands, one of my legs was injured and I needed to stand on the other. And yet... it was almost as if I didn't mind. It seemed Kratos was having similar thoughts as his face changed from purely enjoying seeing me in pain to wanting to cause it just to get my reaction.

"I'm disgusted with myself," I murmured quietly before using the last of my strength to push his hands to the side in order to move forward and kiss him. I was positive his eyes were wide open even though mine were not, but I didn't care. He wasn't exactly kissing back but he wasn't fighting it either, so the messages were mixed until suddenly I felt my shoulderblades and the back of my head smash into the inn wall again. This time I cried out, not loud enough for anyone inside to hear but definately loud enough to get a snarl out of Kratos before he pushed his lips onto mine.

His kiss was rough but it was nice, not like a girl's at all. He wasted no time and went straight to biting my lip - and these were no love nips. Full-on canines pulled at my flesh and eventually I tasted blood. This did not stop either of us; however, and rather, I slid my blood covered tongue into his mouth at the first opening. He responded by sucking on it, hard enough to cause me to lurch forwards. He slammed me back again, breaking the kiss as he did so. With hands big enough to be able to hold both my wrists with just one, he placed his other hand on my chest and slowly moved it downwards. It felt good, but only until he delivered a strong uppercut to my stomach, which served to completely wind me. As I gasped and panted, searching for my breath, he yanked my belt off. My pants were baggy enough that without the belt they did stay up, but barely, hanging rather loosely. The slightest wind could blow them down, and Kratos was a little more than a gentle wind. My pants hit my ankles, and while I was completely exposed from the waist down, he still looked into my face. I assumed he liked the fact that his punch had hurt me enough to make me continue panting even moments later.

"Still disgusted?" He asked me smugly, his free hand sliding over my already completely erect penis. I swallowed the moan that was about to escape me and answered,

"Yes." With that simple answer, I managed to use my injured leg enough to knee him in the side. He was not nearly as affected as me but he still crumpled a bit where I had hit him. I knew the hit had been weak, after all, the leg was injured, but it was definately enough to get him going. I could see where he had sucked in his lower lip from the inside of his mouth, giving me a stare that read, _You just made a big mistake_. I didn't care how much trouble that was going to put me in, because getting him riled up like this was driving me wild. He leaned in to give me one last kiss, and as we did he loosened his grip on my hands just enough so I could wriggle free. He knew I wasn't going anywhere... for the moment, at least. I was a little clumsy at first but I did eventually get his pants undone, and once I had slid them off he stepped out of them entirely.

"You." At this point, he wasn't even going to refer to me by my name. He had placed his hands gently on my shoulders, and it took me a moment too long to figure out what he was doing. Before I knew it, my knees had hit the ground. "Suck." I made a face to myself but did take him into my mouth. To think, all the times I had gone down on girls and had never felt grossed out, and now I do it to a guy and get squeamish? The feeling disappeared fairly quickly, though, as it got good enough that Kratos had to lean his hands against the wall to stay standing. I supposed all that practice was somehow paying off.

I was just getting the rhythm of it, up, down, up, down, starting to feel a slight bit of moisture leaking onto my lips when he grabbed me by the hair and pulled me off. I yelped as he brought me to my feet. We were face to face, but not for long - quickly he pushed my head violently sideways and into the wall.

"You smell like cock." He commented vaguely, holding my head to the side.

"I wonder why that is..." My sarcasm was apparently not appreciated as I received a tight fist around my gentials. It was a mixture of pain and pleasure but one squeeze reminded me that it was mostly pain. "Ack, sorry..."

"What was that?" He demanded, squeezing tighter. My eyes began to water but I tried to keep my composure, knowing the more pain I showed the more he would deal.

"I'm... sorry..." I sighed in relief as he released me; however, the pain was not to stop there. In one smooth motion he spun me around so that my stomach was pressed against the wall, my pelvis slightly tilted back so that my penis was not crushed into the wall as well. Again Kratos got right to the point and, without warning, thrust into me. As a virgin to this sort of thing my ass was tight and it took him a few wicked tries to get a smooth pattern going. The more he went the more I tilted my pelvis back, and eventually I ended up almost completely bent over, only my forearms resting on the wall, my ass sticking out. He made almost no noise whatsoever except for the odd grunt of pleasure, but I was going crazy. For something that hurt so much it sure started to feel good, especially when he'd hit a certain spot that would make me scream. There was something about his thrusting, though, that even though I knew he was trying to get himself off, occasionally I felt that he was doing some of it for me too.

Finally, after all of his silence, I could hear his breathing getting more frantic. The thrusts were getting deeper, harder and faster, and I knew it had stopped being about me entirely. The grip he had on my hips was surely bruising me as I heard what I had been waiting to hear the whole time: his moans. It seemed that he had opened his mouth and though I couldn't look back and see, I could hear low, throaty groans of pleasure and lastly one long one. I felt the moisture from his ejaculation inside me but also seeping down my ass and my legs. He pulled out and barely took a second to recover, scooping some of his still-hot cum off my leg with the tips of his fingers. Pulling my head back by my hair again, he shoved his fingers into my mouth.

I sucked long and seductively on his fingers, tasting every drop of it. I think I liked the taste better than from girls, there was just something about it. It was salty - it almost tasted like sweat, but thicker. I had no idea what he was going to do to me now, but I was so horny he could do just about anything and I would go along with it. I think he had a sense of this, because he simply rubbed up against me and I shuddered. He shifted his body up and down, his partially-erect penis rubbing against my hard one as well as my legs. I bit my lip as he grabbed my penis with one hand, much more gently this time, and worked up and down. It wasn't as good as I'm sure his mouth would have been, but it was definately a start. I wanted to feel the heat of his tongue encircling me, his lips closed around me, and...

"You've served your purpose well," Kratos' voice rang through my thoughts and I opened my eyes to realize that he had walked the few steps over to where he had left his pants, pulling them on.

"H-hey!" I yelled, tripping over my own pants as I had forgotten they were around my ankles.

"What do you want?" He asked, impatience in his voice. My jaw simply dropped open at his callous attitude.

"B-but... You... and I never..." I couldn't believe that he was prepared to just walk off like that, without a single look at me, and without even...

"Oh, what are you complaining about? You had fun, you liked it."

"Yeah, but I didn't..."

Kratos rolled his eyes and in two strides was in front of me again. "Is that all you want?" I didn't even have to answer because he knelt down and proceeded to take in as much of me as he could. I took in the air sharply and held it as his tongue ran the length of my penis and back again. I hadn't realized just how much I wanted it until then, and it was all over far too quickly. With a final moan of his name, I felt a large amount of moisture pulse out and a feeling of satisfaction washed over me. No sooner was I finished and Kratos was already spitting into the grass. Silently, he began to walk away.

"Hey! Kratos, where are you..."

"Look," His tone was firm as he spoke, looking at me sideways. "This meant nothing. I beat the shit out of you, then I fucked the shit out of you, and now I'm telling you to go the fuck away. Got it?" With that, I let him walk away. I assume he resumed his position beneath Colette's window as her watchdog, but I never checked as I entered the inn through the back door.

"Oh my gosh, Zelos, are you alright?" Colette's voice was shrill against my already pounding headache as I entered the main room where everyone was sitting. I suppose that somewhere during all the gay sex I had managed to forget about all the cuts and bruises.

"I'm fine, I'm going to lie down." I answered, regretting that I had to walk past the entire group to get to the staircase.

"Um... does anyone else smell something funny?" Genis asked, looking around the room.

"Yeah, it smells kind of like..." Lloyd glanced over at me and smiled, shaking his head. "I think Zelos just found a girl who fights back." While everyone laughed, I trudged up the stairs and into my bedroom, where I fell onto the bed. My ass was still throbbing where he had thrust into me, and I wondered if it really meant nothing. Would he have felt that way if I hadn't been around? Would it really have mattered if I had never been born?

**The end**


End file.
